The game of the heart and mind

There are days when you do things on and on endlessly, not quite knowing what you are actually doing. Looking blankly at the work you are doing, your head is in fact thinking about something else that you don’t get an answer. But still, your mind just won’t let off its problem and keep wandering away like a wandering spirit. All it seeks is for that specific answer it wants and yet not knowing whether that is indeed THE answer to the problem plaguing it. Is this the answer? No, it doesn’t seem so. Next. Is this the answer? Cannot be. Next. And thus, the process went on and on. The heart tells the mind, “You know you want this, don’t force yourself.” Then the mind answers back, “No, stop telling me this. I shouldn’t be doing this. I don’t want to do this!”; both the ghosts in the body fighting invisibly. Outside, the mask of a calm and smiling face tells no sign of the fierce game happening inside it.

This game will continue endlessly. There’s no one to tally the score. Who’s the winner or loser? Don’t know because the game is still on. Occasionally, a dream or something the eyes happen to see, will trigger new rules to the game. This dream you made yesterday tells you something in your mind. Or is it your heart? The distinction is once again blurred. The fight got fiercer. No one tells you who breaks the rule. Is it the mind or the heart? Will this fight ever end? It depends then. Which will forgets first? Maybe the heart will forget about the subject-matter of the fight. So, the mind will triumph and rational sets in. Or maybe the mind will fall down in the tug-of-war. Then, the heart will cry for victory. Can they compromise? No. they can’t. Either one wins, the other will definitely lose miserably. Or maybe both will lose too because reality will intervene for sure. The reality will have the last say. No matter what you wish for, face up to the reality. As to what is the reality, I can’t see it because I’ve been blindfolded…once again…

Will both the mind and the heart shut up? Please let me be. I want to end the game.